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Ommmm... :) In continuing with my recent search for growing peace and an appreciation of oneness, I am excited to report a great new find:
The Art of Happiness, a book that centers around direct dialogue with the Fourteenth Dalai Lama. In the past two months, I've learned lessons from listening to/ reading work by names such as Napoleon Hill, Jack Canfield and Steve Pavlina. These works planted seeds that made my mind ready for many of the Dalai Lama's teachings.
For example, he advocates treating an 'enemy' as a rare treasure, as enemies offer us the opportunity to practice our skills of patience and tolerance. Now, I'm hardly a superhero with an arch nemesis, so I wouldn't say I have any real enemies. From time to time, I encounter those who directly or inadvertently hurt my feelings, but that's about it. So I am applying his teachings in this sense:
Instead of being irked when someone makes an off comment or is plain rude to you—what if, instead of annoyance, you felt excitement? Excitement at the opportunity to demonstrate your ability to exert self control, to remind yourself of self-respect and value, and to treat that person respectfully, even if it is eventually necessary to avoid interacting with that person in the future.
The Dalai Lama wisely asserts, "In fact, the enemy is the necessary condition for practicing patience...So, from this standpoint we can consider our enemy as a great teacher, and revere them for giving us this precious opportunity to practice patience."
"Now
there are many, many people in the world, but relatively few with whom we interact, and even fewer who cause us problems. So when you come across such a chance for practicing patience and tolerance, you should treat it with gratitude. It is rare. Just as having unexpectedly found a treasure in your own house, you should be happy and grateful towards your enemy for providing that precious opportunity." Co-author Howard C. Cutler, M.D., adds, "It's the very struggle of life that makes us who we are. And it is our enemies that test us, provide us with the resistance necessary for growth."
These statements about adversity remind me of an experience I had in high school, when some of the girls in my class insulted me because I wasn't very athletic. I would run laps after class sometimes, and at first I was very slow. Instead of being weakened by their insults and staying home, I chose to continue jogging after class. As time went on, I got better and built up my endurance. Eventually one of the girls apologized and asked for my forgiveness. I said, "Don't worry about it, I'm actually glad you treated me that way." Surprised, she asked why. I said, "Because if you hadn't, this wouldn't have been a challenge." Now I can look back and fully embrace the fleeting understanding I felt at that moment, and I can strive to apply that understanding to every adversity I face in my life, whether it is trival or pivotal.
Interestingly, Napoleon Hill remarks in The Law of Success, "...without a single exception, anything which irritates you and arouses you to anger, hatred, dislike or cynicism, is destructive and very bad for you." Hmmm. I highly doubt that Hill's meaning here is completely literal, as he ultimately advocates the power of self control and the eventual mastery of the mind through honor and respect for mankind. But I will briefly deconstruct this statement; at face value, it seems to underline a major subconscious belief of today's society.
It seems highly unlikely that we can remove all sources of anger and irritation from our lives. It seems much more reasonable to instead work on how we deal with the aspects that cause us to struggle. As Steve Pavlina mentions in many of his blog entries, mistakes and failures are supposed to happen. Emotions are supposed to happen. Fighting against our emotions or attempting to remove negative emotions from our lives is completely illogical—we'll be fighting a losing battle. It makes much more sense to face these problems head on, as opportunies to learn and grow, instead of attempting to remove them from our lives. In the words of Dr. Cutler, "In our daily lives problems are bound to arise...if you confront your problems rather than avoid them, you will be in a better position to deal with them."
In Buddhism, one of the Four Noble Truths is an acknowledgement of suffering, which is rooted in ignorance, craving and hatred. As long as our lives are even slightly tainted by these three, we will experience suffering on some level. However, in The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama emphasizes, "There is a possibility of freedom from suffering. By removing the causes of suffering, it is possible to attain a state of Liberation, a state free from suffering...By generating insight into the true nature of reality and eliminating afflictive states of mind such as craving and hatred, one can achieve a completely purified state of mind, free from suffering."
In conclusion: Don't embark on a journey to find happiness. Prepare yourself for adversity, face it when it comes, and allow happiness to be a key component of the journey itself.
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